... I had a big fight tonight. Not about this blog or anything related to ... well, any of this. But it was a yelling, screaming fight that left me really, really upset, both at myself and at the person with whom I was fighting. I really lost my temper ... but I also think that I was really in the right and that the other person was wrong (and it was a simple wrong, but one that has been building and building for some time). It's like I do everything, care for everyone, have responsibility for everyone and everything ... and get treated like shit as my "reward".
I feel like I'm getting to that point where I'm really questioning the relationship and whether there is anything left at all. If it weren't for the impact on others, I might be tempted to just throw in the towel, say "fuck it", and walk away. But, then again, that's not me. Or at least not the "me" that I want to be. But at some point, being treated like neither you nor your feelings matter can begin to eat at you from the inside.
Anyway, I know that this isn't really the place for this ... but, well ... what is this blog if not an outlet for certain thoughts, feelings, and emotions? Unfortunately, I don't really have anyone that I'm close to that I can talk to about my feelings and certainly not anyone who can really help me figure out what I need (or want) to do. So I guess a bit of public (well, anonymously public, anyway) venting or unburdening or emoting or whatever is the best that I can hope for.
*hugs* hope you can find a rainbow in the clouds
ReplyDeleteI hope everything is going okay. I can't offer you much, except that you're already doing a good job by venting out. I find it sometimes great just to write out all the complaints I have on a piece of paper and then just throwing it all away. A problem doesn't disappear like that, but at least you can give you some reprieve~
ReplyDeleteSorry that things aren't going well. Remember that things generally go up and down. Try not to let things build up to catastrophic proportions before talking about them.
ReplyDeleteHugs
*cuddles* sometimes its good letting things out, i hope whatever is troubling you works out soon, noone ever deserves to be treated badly, especially not a wonderful person like yerself
ReplyDeleteIf it helps you in any way to vent here then it is fine. You may need a place to think things out and get your thoughts aligned. This place is your creation. Use it for your needs and remember that you and your ideas are important as well. Good luck.
ReplyDelete