Tuesday, September 29, 2015

When You Know You're Doing Good and Yet Life Still Says "You Suck"

I may or may not post a new caption tonight. Or tomorrow night. I don't know. I'm going through some ... um ... stuff. And I'm pretty down. What I guess is makes me the most sad is that my blog and tumblr seem like the only places where I can try to find a sympathetic ear (please don't take that as a plea for sympathy comments). It's just that right now, I don't really feel like any of the people that I should be able to turn to are really listening to me.

Do you ever feel as if you're doing the right thing? Not always the easy thing, but the right thing? The good thing? And yet you get blamed for virtually everything that goes wrong?

I know that how I've been treating people and dealing with them has been (at least mostly) the right thing. Sure, I lose my temper sometimes. Who doesn't. But when everyone blames me for all the problems and doesn't hear the concerns that I'm expressing, doesn't hear me when I talk about the things that are bothering me...

I don't know. I think I'm a good person. I really do. Flaws? Sure. But a good person. But right now, those closest to me are doing a fuckin' good job of making me feel like the perpetual bad guy, the person who never thinks of others, the person who doesn't help or doesn't respect others. And I know -- with certainty, not just a feeling -- that their perception of the situation is completely and totally backward. I'm making all of the effort and getting neither recognition nor reciprocation, just vilification for not doing ... well, I'm not really sure.

And so I find myself not knowing what to do. I sat in my car in a random parking lot the other night and cried for a while. Didn't help.

I'm not abandoning captioning, but I'm not making it a priority either right now. If I'm on my computer with a bit of privacy, I'll post. But making the effort... I don't know.


  1. Sounds like you are going through a rough time. I hope you get through it. I know I went through a patch like that a few years ago. I just kept on going and keeping my head up. I got through it and on the other side, I was a better person because of the rough experience I had gone through. Maybe reach out to a councilor and get some help. It can be tough to go it alone, especially if the people that are close to you are not helping.

    Best Wishes,

  2. It's tough I am going through something similar, I hope you make it through

  3. I do not assume to know your problems. However, I too have a small group of good friends that I still cannot open up to about some things. I hope you find a way out and clear up the problems.
    Best wishes.

  4. i do hope you can work things out.

  5. Uh...Yeah! I'd expect that a lot of us can relate, Mindy. And I wish I had some sage bit of counsel, comfort or succor to offer, (or at least a good hug to give you), but maybe J's comment has it covered.

    May the greatest peace, the deepest love and the most passionate kisses be yours!

  6. Same thing happened to me a few years ago. My response was to stop being helpful altogether, until they realize the truth which I am beginning to think will never happen.

  7. Take care. You're doing great.
    sara elise


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